I can't believe it. I'm flying off to Melbourne in a few hours time later.

Seems like it's yesterday when I was cracking my brain hard to think of how to break the news to them (parents).

Heck it also seems like it's yesterday when my dad yelled and me and I stomped out of the house and I came back not talking to him anymore.

I'm so nervous now. Or you can say paranoid.

This is my first time flying alone. What if I get the procedure done wrongly? What if I forgot to bring some important documents? (Anyway, IC, passport, visa and flight ticket are all the important documents right?) What if I walk into the wrong plane? And later get told I boarded into the wrong plane then later I'm late to board on the correct plane and I miss it how how how?! Or what if when I reach Melbourne the custom or whateverrr stop me cos I carry too many things like I'm from some kampung how? (I have my luggage, a mattress - don't ask, my violin - to practise if I stop pracising my conductor will kill me, and my handbag)

Okay I think I'm thinking too much. It can not possibly be anything complicated, right?

Anyway, here are some pictures to entertain your eyes.

We went Redbox-ing. These was after it.

As always.

Esther practising hygienic steps.

Then we went over to 1U because erm... I wanna get something la but mahai why when I don't wanna buy that thing it floods the whole mall but when I wanna buy something no matter how painful my legs are after rounding the whole mall 345223 times I can never find the thing I'm looking for. So we went and had dinner at,

If you all didn't already know, Esther is the most indecisive cow.

We ordered,

So this is what's shown in the menu. Let's check how fair it is really.

Fail!

Also,

Let's see how it fairs again.

ALSO FAIL!!!
(oops, typo there. I meant, 'Where are all THESE!')

Picture taken by the excited Esther who finds that thing sticking in my mouth funny.

I'm serious, she was really preparing to burp. Oh check out her lion dance costume HAHAHAHAHAH!!!

Desert, 

Veli nice! Prolly cos I love bananas = )

Last but not least,

= )

The other day Esther and I were at this foodcourt. They have this stall selling dvds of English, Korean, Taiwan and anime series at a very good price. So we were looking at the dvds, ransacking the whole table of dvds but of course the seller could not say a word cos we were serious buyers mah we had the I-WANNA-BUY-SOMETHING-HERE look ok.

(Actually already planned wanna go buy dvds earlier one. That fella some more ask me out, already said meet there, I reached already she was still at home hmph made me stayed and waited in my car inhaling carbon monoxide. Er, car aircon is carbon monoxide right? EDIT//someone intelligent told me it's not carbon monoxide cos carbon monoxide is the one from the exhaust pipe haha i'm such a fool// ... well, poisonous car aircon)

Then then then, we found some treasures loh! I saw Desperate Housewives complete 3 seasons, she found Grey's Anatomy also complete with 3 seasons and her urm... How I Met Your Mother or Grandmother or wtf la.

I was damn excited okay cos I feel so left out when some of my friends talked about Desperate Housewives and I had to sit there and stare at the table while they enjoyed discussing about so-and-so having an affair with dunno which Tom, Dick or Harry and I know absolutely nuts about fucking Desperate Housewives.

It was RM 80 for all three seasons and the price was still bargainable! It's a steal right!

So we were still looking if there were any other treasures before deciding when we heard the sound of a glass crashing. And then not long after that, there was a fight. Not some physical gang fight (but it almost went into it) but a verbal fight between a VCD seller and one man who looks like the typical kongsi gelap ppl la but a low-ranked one hahahhh!

We were quite disturbed by the scene and even wanted to leave, then the seller assured us nothing will happen and asked us not to worry and kept waiting for us to decide and fucking pay up. So the negotiation ended with one price nobody could resist and when we almost wanted to get our money, the shouting and scoldings became more angry and violent. They almost fought but someone pulled the other person back.

Shocked, we both left the dvd place without buying. Any sane person would right? What if suddenly guns and knives came out? What if they were so psychotic that they accidentally/intentionally kill innocent (cute) dvd buyers like us how?

So we quickly left.

But, some people were still very desperate for the dvds. Cos it was really a steal. 4 series, RM 160. Yeah, the (cute) dvd buyers, us.

We drove the car to a spot nearby the scene. Intending to observe the situation and get the dvds immediately when everything settle down.They were still screaming and scolding. This time, the dvd seller was involved. I don't know how it happened but this time he's verbally fighting with the kongsi gelap guy. And he was holding a phone which from far, Esther mistook it as a gun and even bended her head down when she was in her car said scared later the gunshot missed the guy and hit her.

WTFFFF -_____-

And then she took out her phone and pretended she was talking on the phone in the car cos she didn't want people to know she's watching what's happening there.

Before we knew it, that kongsi gelap guy was right in front of Esther's car. And she got more frantic. Walao I can't describe the scenario but really, it was like a live comedy. He was talking to another person in a motorbike. I tried to eavesdrop but to no avail. We waited for a while before deciding that we should drive into the foodcourt parking area and watch from there cos it's much safer.

So we drove in, and waited, and waited and waited for them to chill.

Suddenly we saw a red Saga driving over to the dvd place, and the seller started putting things in the car.

"SHITTT HE'S LEAVING!" Esther exclaimed.

And we were contemplating like to get down and ask the dvd seller whether he still wanna sell us the dvds or not. But nobody had the guts to get off the car and walk upfront and ask. In the heat of the moment wei. The fight was not over ya know the kongsi gelap guy still there. Got other members around some more.

-_______-''

And so, we left, empty-handed.

And the whole scene from the starting of the verbal fight until they packed up and left, took almost 1 and half hours. We wasted 1 and half hours, witnessing fools screaming at each other and one even pretended she's on the phone in a very very dramatic conversation, just because we're so desperate for the cheap dvds.

Two sohai.

Then today, we decided to go back to the dvd stall to get back the dvds. Mana tau drive until there (not near okay), the stall wasn't there.

T______T *blows mucus*

On a more self-absorbed note, I bought cheap eyeshadows and eyeliner today haha wtf. (Don't get me wrong ah I don't always use cheap makeups one I'm a loyal MAC supporter ok)

I seriously dunno why the stupid cheebye photobucket is not working so I'll have to resort to imageshack for now.

omg can see the whater fucking dots on my face!
it's not pimples ok it's not!

HAHAHAH CREEPY OR NOT SUCH A BIG EYE STARING AT YOU!

Er, if you're wondering bout the mascara no it's not cheap one ok it's Stila. I'm a very particular person in makeups cos with my face even my parents love insulting, it deserves God. MAC is the God. Okay Stila also. Half God la.

Kthxbye.

I was too goddamn bored, I played with the curling iron. You know, the one the hairstylists use to curl people's hair temporarily. Well, my sis bought few years ago. And until know, I only knew how to blow dry and straighten my hair. I can never handle that curling iron myself. Only she knows how to do it.

But today, THERE WAS A MIRACLE!

From this,

...

...

...

...

...

...

JENG JENG JENG!

It didn't look really nice in just like this so I tied them up to see the effect,

and I was like OMG I LOVE THIS!!!

this even nicer *faints*

but if you see closely it looks a little unruly la like dunno which bush from some forest

=)

So how do you like my permed hair?

I LOOK NICER IN STRAIGHT OR CURLED HAIR?!

Yes I am finally back at home. After refusing 48761534 times. I'll blog chronologially today.

Guess what?

and her name's Adelle Soo Oi Mae, and she knew very well that I HATEEEEEEEE lizards. But well, I have to admit that thing is really cute =P

Amy got me something nice too, but it's a little damaged. Will post the picture when I get it fixed.

Teluk Intan trip!!

Lazy to describe the whole thing la so these are the pictures which I managed to take and editted.

Pardon my stupid face. 

Yeap all those chronologically. You don't need me to tell you how many types of food I actually consumed in a day and how many times I had to do the contented face for the camera, do you? 

A week or so after that, I ran away from home.

Haha yeah, I suddenly craved for Domino's pizza after all that crying

Moving on, I played for my university's royal concert. Did not really play seriously anyway, cheated most of the time. If you get what I mean. Not much pictures taken too. Well there were some but I seriously looked too ghostly and ghastly to be seen here so I shall only post up a these 2 taken before the concert:

Haha like wtf right? I seriously don't know wtf I was doing

A few videos of it too,

And after that whole concert thingie, we went for a great brunch today at some ramen restaurant I forgot the name.

I especially love this. Yumm. 

Yup that's all. Toodles.

I woke up this morning with very puffy eyes due to last night's crying. It was rather disappointing to find out about it. Or rather, it was... hurtful. So I was crying all the way driving home feeling very very bad. Even when I woke up today, nothing did improve. I mean my emotional state. So, back to this morning.

I walked into the kitchen, filled in the water bottle and prepared to go to work. Since parents was at home and bought breakfast, I sat down next to dad who's reading the newspaper by then, and started eating. Mum was at the same table, reading newspaper too. Then it wasn't long, probably after I took my second mouth of the nasi lemak, dad said something in Mandarin to my youngest sister,

" Ee yen, this one take and show your big sister (meaning me) "

He was pointing at one article in the Star newspaper under the Health section. Yes.

It was something about acne cos I saw a very big picture of a very pimply and zitty face. Which I'm pretty very fucking sure, my face is NOT and NEVER like that.

There and then, I could feel myself unable to control my feelings anymore. I tried to hold the tears back, but it was to no avail. I left the table immediately in thoughts of just go back to my room and maybe tear a little and fine, walk away cool and ignore. But I couldn't. Tears were gushing out so freely. I failed to take it anymore. And I decided that I really have to get myself off the house and go to work or I'll be late.

I opened my room's door, and my youngest sister came in handing me that newspaper article. I ignored her and made my way to the kitchen to get my bag and my bottle (not intending to finish the unfinished nasi lemak) and dad saw me crying and he said in a rather loud tone,

" CRY AGAIN??? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? WHY ARE YOU SO STRANGE? I WAS ONLY ASKING YOU TO READ THAT ARTICLE AND YOU CRIED? IT'S NOT THAT I AM INSULTING YOU! I ONLY SAID SOME LITTLE THINGS AND YOU HAVE TO CRY? YOU'RE SO WEIRD! "

It was in Cantonese but more or less, those were what he said.

I seriously couldn't take it anymore. I cried even more listening to what he said. Tell me, which father actually would continue to scold his daughter when she's crying?

I walked into the kitchen and finished my milo, when I heard grandma shrieking at me,

" AIYO SUCH A BIG GIRL CRY OVER SMALL THINGS FOR WHAT!!! "

I spoke back in quite an annoyed tone,

" It's not about that la! "

And I sipped my milo very very quickly and as I walked away, dad and grandma was still shouting and screaming words which seriously, made me feel like I wish I was never born into this family. I remembered the last words I screamed while crying,

" IT'S NOT ABOUT IT LAH!!! "

And I stormed out of the house, banging the door behind me which later I heard dad screamed,

" GO ON LA SPOIL THE DOOR LA MAKE THE WHOLE HOUSE TUMBLE DOWN LAH! "

I drove away to my workplace, trembling in tears, suffocating, tears flowing freely and my stomach was aching cos I was having difficulties in breathing. It always happens when I cry badly. I called Jie and poured everything to him.

I parked somewhere near my workplace and I decided with my emotional state at that moment, I can not possible teach. I would have scare the kids away. I called and took leave.

And I've decided, I'm not going home either.

So now, I'm blogging from Esther's place.

Yes. I am running away from home. Or more precisely, driving away from home. What's the point of going back to a place so-called home, but your parents are there to rub salt to your wound and only know how to condemn your face and put all the blame on you?

He was sitting next to me when I was having my breakfast, why must he ask my sister to show me the article? Why can't he ask me to read it in a proper way?

Isn't it obvious that he's trying to make fun of my face again? Isn't it obvious he's trying to insult me?

I've already had enough of yesterday's crying, I did not slept well, my eyes were swollen and tired and I was already feeling bad. And there. Look at what he did.

What hurts most was, every single Sunday, I will have to face it. Once is worse enough. Twice is a curse. More than that? Go figure.

What hurts more was, even my friends don't laugh at me nor talk about my face. I told a lot of my friends about what my parents said about my face, and ALL of them told me my face seriously have no problems. It's normal to have pimples and my face is definitely not in a serious stage. There are more out there who face more problematic skin than me.

My own parents, are laughing and insulting my face at home. But my friends are the ones who didn't think my face was a problem and they are the ones who love me. Where's the logic, someone enlighten me please.

It's a collective thing. When you've stuffed too much, it explodes. Too bad, my parents don't understand such a simple theory.

And so, I'm leaving home. I won't say I will not go back, it's just the matter of time. Will see how things go. Or how my emotions go.

Since I won't be around for the whole week anyway due to a royal concert my university orchestra's playing.

So the purpose of this entry is to say, I ran away from home. And I'm deeply hurt.

Don't tell me I did something wrong cos I very obviously did nothing wrong. All I did was just cry and shed tears, and was that a pain in their asses? Was my crying a sore to their eyes? I didn't even tell them off or scream at them (at first), nor make unhappy faces? I couldn't bear it, I could do nothing to their insult on me and I was very frustrated, that's why I cried, and that's something uncontrollable right?

So the question is, who's on my side?