HARLOW.

I'm here procrastinating and DIGGING MY OWN GRAVE

T_____T

Before I die let me just satisfy myself by updating this blog lah.

I seriously feel like shooting myself to death today.

I used to buy and wear cosmetic (or more commonly known as coloured) contact lenses and thought they were really expensive (RM 65-80 per pair per month) but for the sake of beauty (self-assurance hmmm) I thought it was worth it. I also thought they were supposed to cost that much since they are nicer and different from the normal ones, right?

I have different powers for both my eyes (100 and 275 L-R) so whenever I need to get a pair of lenses I would have to buy 2 pairs because they don't sell it in 2 different powers. So I used to pay around RM 130-160 I can't remember the exact price but around there. And that's ALOT of money for something I can only use for 2 months ok don't you agree?

BUT. For the sake of beauty, I foolishly thought IT'S TOTALLY OK to pay that much.

Today I finally realised and was made to believe I was taken as a fool all these years paying so much for something which don't actually cost that much.

Recently I saw Esther wearing coloured contact lense and she told me she bought it at a price which surprised me. I asked her where she got it from and she suggested me getting it there cos apparently everything's far cheaper in that shop. So today I went and checked it out. True enough, the contact lenses ARE cheaper. FAR CHEAPER some more.

My pair of contact lense which I used to bodoh bodoh paid RM 65-80 per pair for, is sold only RM 45 a pair there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111 (typo intended to intensify my feelings)

I bought 2 pairs, RM 45 + RM 45, and 2 bottles of solution which came with a free shokubutsu shower foam, RM 36 = RM 126 IT'S NOT EVEN MORE THAN THAT RM 130 I STUPIDLY PAID OVER THE YEARS!!!!!!!!1111

Haih if I could save up all the extra money I unnecessarily paid I think I could have afforded a small Vuitton already by now T___T

Anyway, I have nothing better to do while digging my grave (wtf) so I webcamwhored.

Nice or not the contact lens!

Simply wanna pose lah.

I like this one!

God why am I so vain!

This is how I look like when I don't smile. The so called signature lansi face. Some call it cibai face. Kin Wai calls it kuailan cibai lansi face. Got so bad meh -___-|||

This is when I smile a little.

This is the normal smile when I take pictures.

This is when I laugh really hard to some lame jokes. For example, today Adelle told me this lame joke about what is Bruce Lee's favourite drink. I was driving and I laughed so hard till I couldn't see the road cos my eyes were closed! Exactly like this picture.

"Oops. "

Eh why nobody comment about my composition one ah? All only decided to comment about my nonexistent nakedness only AFTER I mentioned about it. My composition not nice meh? T____T

Ok lah I better get back to my studies/assignmets/practice.

I was wondering why nobody asked about my nakedness in that picture in the previous post. Then again, I didn't expose anything so I think nobody's interested lah. But anyhow if there's anything exposed it should be the viewer's nightmare already HAHAHAHA.

Ok sorry crazy already cos I really really really need to clean up my room. It's trashy and super filthy. The floor's full of hair and I have not been mopping for 2 weeks already. My jeans are everywhere on the floor, dirty clothes on the floor including underwear, unwashed cups, wires and cables all tangled up.

Not trying to show how disorganized and how unqualified I am as a housewife ok. Trying to show what the workload and deadlines and exams have made me to become.

50 more days/7 weeks and a day/1 month and 19 more days

I can't wait. =)

Ok gotta start cleaning up now.

---

By the way, here's my first composition. The one which I was struggling to finish nights after nights and then the lecturer kept postponing the presentation. Yesterday we finally presented it and he said it sounded like an Irish tune.

-___-|||

Actually I wanted it to reflect more of a musical's theme. And I'm not ashamed to say that I did steal a tiny little snippet of a track from High School Musical 2. Just 2 bars ok just 2 bars. Because I liked the melody. If you can identify which 2 bars I reckon you're a huge fan of HSM. Well to begin with, I'm not a fan of HSM and in fact I don't like it at all but because I'm living with a... no, make it 2 HSM fan at home, I cannot run away without watching it. So as much as I don't like HSM I was still inspired from their soundtracks in this composition.

Anyway, tell me what you think.

It's a midi from the software I'm using to compose so the sound's kinda lousy. The solos include piano, violin and electric guitar but you won't hear the electric guitar cos the software's so lousy (or is it my laptop that's lousy) they have to share the same wave as the violins. Even the violin sounds terrible.And the drum sets midi is pathetic. So this is what it's written to sound but when we played it in real life, it sounded much better.

Next, we're required to compose a song with lyrics and vocals singing it, plus music. Either art song (like those operatics with German, French or Italian vocals and a piano accompaniment) or any form of pop/rock/ballad/etc in any language as long as the lyrics are from poems.

Stay tuned LOL.

I am very happy today. =) =D =) =D

Nothing beats the happiness of having things clarified between friends.

I have been keeping this certain issue in me quite some time ago (in one particular event I've mentioned in my blog before but I shall not disclose which is it because I don't want some people to know about this) and eventually forgot about it. Until someone brought up related issues and it reminded me of MY issue with THEM. And since everyone was there and since I succeeded in forcing them to tell me something I should not know, I decided to let them hear my side of the story about MY issue with THEM.

And after that, it felt great! =D

It felt great to let things out than to live with a bitter history. It felt great to be honest and smile away as I talked about it, than to curse whenever I think about it in the future.

You know, the worst feeling of all is to have issues with your close friends, and knowing how close you are with them, you know you cannot easily just tell them off. So what do you do? Vent to your boyfriend; if you have one. Otherwise, I think you'd just explode lah unless you have very high tolerance of this kinda shitty feelings and you forget things easily. Or worst still, talk to other friends about it which in other words means backstabbing. You wanna rant about it so much to someone and when you do it to other friends, after ranting you'll feel damn bad about it because afterall, they're your close friends. People whom you thought you can trust most but behind their backs, you're actually doing what you would do to that bitch or slut or lecturer's dogs in class.

Another thing which made me happy is having a good friend back when I thought I've lost him. Not he died or what lah, something happened months ago, he got pissed, I got pissed. We tried to talk things out but it didn't work and we both ended the conversation in a very pissed off way and never contacted each other after that. I thought that was the end until he started nudging me on msn these few days. I was too busy to even reply; he nudged me when I was away and when I got back he's offline. So today I was lucky that he was still online when I got back so we talked and cleared things out. He wasn't angry at me and I obviously am not angry at him anymore since months ago.

I am like this. When you're my close friend, I tend to forget unhappy things which happened between us easily.

So, yeah.

Simple things like these always make my day no matter how shitty it has been.

What about you?

Have a great weekend. =)

By the way, I... waswearingmybirthdaysuit in that picture. Heeee. =P

I'm waiting for Adelle. More like waiting for someone to go supper with me. In my case, dipper (dinner + supper HAHAHAHA).

My room is a shithole once again cause I've been too lazy to move my fat ass to clean it up. There's a bottle of new and unopened coke and a stick of choki choki on the floor. Yeah the leftovers of last 2 weeks when Adelle and Cheng Choo stayed over in my room and did crazy things. Really, really crazy things like... ok I better not say anything. There're uncountable strands of hair on the floor. Unwashed clothes hanging on the... coat hanger.

I bought a HP printer just yesterday and I'm damn proud cause it's so big and nice and I own it. I couldn't stand that lousy Epson printer at home anymore with the cover broken and giving sucky prints. And I simply don't want to pay 30 cents to just print a piece of crap in the cybercafe. But I cannot possibly bring the printer over to my PJ home if I were to ask dad to pay for it. So I bought one myself lah.

I'm so hungry I feel like sleeping already -__- |||

*******

Burrrrp. So full I feel like puking now.

Ok lah since I've consumed 34769234 ounces of fats (from a plate of (should I say the best?) nasi lemak) and a tiny bit of caffeine (from a glass of hot neslo) just like  how I wanted, I should get started on my assignment now.    =(   =(   =(

1. Composition presentation - which has been postponed and postponed grrrrrrr damn angry wasted alllll my sleepless nights. (10 April)

2. Music Appreciation presentation - Strings Instruments' Performance Practice in the forgot-which-century. (11 April)

3. Jazz dance practical exam (17 April) - T____T

4. First study (violin) exam (23, 24 or 25 April date to be confirmed) - T_________________T why oh why this semester it has to be BEFORE all the written tests.

5.. A piece of 20th Century Music (Anytime this month)

6.. Another composition presentation (Early May)

7.. Film music composition (Early May)

8. History of Western Music and Performing Arts Theory exams (Early May)

After all that I'll be giving extra lessons to my students who are taking exams and then I shall enjoy the hell out of my fat butt in a foreign land once again.

This is me with a very sien-lan-jor face and Wk sleeping like a pig baby. And yes this is how we stay connected with each other besides all that phone calls, messages and waking up at 5.30 to chat. We leave the webcam on and I'll bring the laptop next to my bed so that we can sleep next to each other virtually.

 

 

This is the lamest joke of the day I must share. If you watch Grey's Anatomy you will understand it.

We music students were at the Panggung Bandaraya watching our seniors' recital. It was break time so a bunch of us wanted to order McDonald's for dinner. So we were writing down what everyone wants.

" I want McChicken... I want Fillet-O-Fish... Chicken McDeluxe... yaddi yadda... "

" I want McSteamy. "

It's even funnier when a GUY said it. And he's Jian HAHAHAHAHAH.

I even added, " Why not McSteamy HAHAHAHAHA "

And you know what's the picture of the day?

Wah damn super ugly la.

Anyway, I was playing with my webcam when I discovered something and I wonder.

Do I look better in side parting (my hair),

I only do the left side cos the right side is balding T__T

or middle parting?

And I really love the pinned up-fringe look but I don't have much hair (in other words I'm balding again) above my forehead and my forehead quite flat, I don't look good in it.

I always envy girls who have lots of baby hair and look really good in it.

And and and do I look better with my hair down, or tied up?

Yesterday when I was webcamming with Wk I realised my hair is so long, I can make a scarf out of it.

But it looks more like a collar here. I swear there was a time I arranged my hair in such a way where it looked exactly like a scarf but I forgot to printscreen it. After that I couldn't do it again.

Hahaha I don't know what's this supposed to be but I think it looks quite funny.

Then I even tried to see how I look like with short hair.

How do I look how do I look?!

Can't do the really really short one cos hair too long already.

Ok last picture.

Hahahahah like soh poh only.

Wah I tell you never ever ever volunteer to do jobs like helping about 30 people buying McDonalds. Because it's damn fucking stupid. Especially when you have to run under the rain, IN A 4 FUCKING INCHES HEELS. Plain stupid.

There was a total of 28 LARGE drinks, 28 burgers and stuffs and 28 packs of LARGE fries. They had to put everything in boxes and we had to carry the boxes, run under the rain quickly get into the car because there's no place to park, the driver had to put signals and stop at the side in the middle of a slowly moving traffic filled with lots of frustrated (about the jam) drivers who'll honk at you until you die if you stop moving for even 1 second if every car's moving already.

Worst part was distributing the food and realising some idiots went and took other people's food and not knowing who that idiot is.

Even worse was eating cold and soggy fries after doing all the donkey jobs and getting the time to actually sit down and eat. No we didn't even get to sit down cos there's no place to sit and eat and still look presentable (it's not presentable to eat at the hall with people passing by in and out mah) so we had to stand outside and eat.

But nevermind la I managed to take back a whole plastic bag filled with McDonald's chilli sauce HAHAHAHAHA. Cos the McD's people gave a lot. I mean A LOT A LOT.

I like McDonald's chilli sauce dunno why. I took them back cos the ones at home sucks. I don't know why my mom always like to buy those sucky garlic chilli sauce like dunno what Uncle Koh la Kampung Koh la. Or those Thai chilli sauce damn oily and damn a lot of chilli seeds one eeyer.

I damn 9(kao) hate chilli seeds one. When I eat chilli with soy sauce, I always pick those without seeds or I'll remove the seeds before eating them. Do you know they're indigestible? You either shit them out if you eat them or they stay in your digestive system.

Ok the end.